Thanks for reading

I know there's only a few of you who visit here, but whoever you are, I want you to know it means a lot to me.

I have been blogging for over 10 years now. Does anyone remember xanga? That's where I first started. Then I had a livejournal, tumblr, wordpress. I've been around the block with this blogging thing and I am ready to close this chapter.

I'm sorry for not completing some entries I had promised, but bottom-of-my heart thank you for every one of you who has ever stopped by. I could only hope I have shone some light on God or the very least made a few smile.

James says I should probably end* on the before and after pictures of the renovations.


Here's to the next chapter!

*Okay, so this isn't the "end" end. I will have two more blog entries, but won't be able to get to them till May 2018, so maybe see you again for a real goodbye then. One post will be my favorite links from around the web. I've been collecting this for over a year now, but just can't seem to finish it. Basically "bookmarks" of my favorite posts from other bloggers. And then the true last post will be my favorite posts from my own blogs. I'm excited to sort through 10 years of memories, reminisce and mainly cringe a lot.


Four pictures

Doesn't this picture make you feel better about the world? No? Maybe just me. Some days I feel the darkness of the world on my shoulders. I get really down about kids in foster care, or poverty, or if I hear Barnabas cry a little because he's hungry, I will burst into tears because I know there's actual kids out there who are starving. The other day I was texting Helen and she texted me, "you're kind of intense." Which is why this blog is light and cheery, because it is easy for me to spiral into a world of despair. I feel alone in this, and yet I know I'm not. We all want the world to be without pain and suffering and we're all intense about it. Trying to do good, be less selfish, serve, love well, etc. it feels very ineffective to me.... and now you're beginning to see the spiral I go into. I'm not leaving this discussion, I think it's something I'm trying to figure out how to expand on in the written word. Why God, why all the suffering and pain? Let's spiral out and we'll come back in the near future to this topic... 

... cow day! 

The Webers got us this sweet sign for our new kitchen. I left it on the counter and and later found this note left by James. Hahaha, clever husband. I bake him a pie only once a year for his birthday ;)

.... also drawing skills come in handy when your toddler peels off magnets and you can entertain her by drawing while she's sitting on the potty. 

Happy Monday! 


Family Pictures

I thought I would pop in and say hi! Mainly because I'm already on my computer googling "how to get baby poop out of clothes." Rinse in cold water, don't let the stain dry, and oxi-clean. I'm sure you were in need of this valuable information.  

Also, these photos happen to be on my desktop already. B is on the bed beside me staring at me going like, "Really, mom? Come play with me!" Insert mommy guilt feelings here. He's actually contentedly on his tummy and chewing on two of his fingers, but still.  

Since our anniversary, so much has happened...such is life: 

1) We have floors again!! Pictures to come. 
2) Rose was bitten badly by bugs... doctor says chiggers... I'm skeptical and think it's fleas from a craigslist rug (more mommy guilt here) I made James buy me...mystery still to be solved  
3) Rose is now a recovering scratch-aholic and her bug bites are finally fading
4) We've had exterminators come out twice since no one else was bitten besides Rose. It's not bed bugs people, cause I know that's what you all are thinking. Because that's what I was thinking, insert another Kae melt-down. Anyways, I don't know why but this has all made time fly. On top of that, contractors coming in and out of our home has been pretty draining on all of us. 

Oh wait, not for Rose, since I've had to resort to confining us in our master bedroom for days on end, which means best life ever with multiple episodes of Dora. In my defense, there's only so many places you can hide McDonald Happy Meal Beanie Boos for a lovely toddler game of hide and seek:

4) We have photos of all 4 of us. SHOCKING. We are the worst models in the world. James and I hate having our pictures taken, but Rebekah is the sweetest and totally handles our difficult attitudes. We're just not those "cute couples" who can pose or look super attractive. I can hear James reading this saying "speak for yourself" But, for real, and then throw in two little people. It was chaotic, but Rebekah worked magic. 


Happy 5 Years!!

Get excited people. James is joining us today* because today is a big day for us. We are celebrating five years. I look at our vows that we promised each other and gosh, it is both devastating and amazing. I am reminded that the things we ought not to break, we break, and yet God restores. This is something to celebrate.

In honor of our fifth year, I'm posting favorite pictures of us through the years. We also each picked 5 questions and then went back and forth answering:

Something you wouldn't know about my spouse... 

J: Despite being an advocate for everything green, she has a deep secret, she has a great love for all things carb-y. A box of donuts, a birthday cake, a whole loaf of bread, you name it, it won't last a single day with Kae.

K: Haha, that's so true, I don't like people to know that about me, but I do love carb-y things. Let's see, James has road rage!! Most people only ever see the very chill side of James, but he gets really, really angry at bad drivers.

One thing I love about my spouse ... 

J: The one that comes to mind the most seems shallow, but she will go out of her way to help me not change a poop-y diaper. I can't handle poop. But the word poop is hilarious.

(K = LAUGHING OUT LOUD, I'm still trying to recover from this) 

K: He's a nice guy. I like nice guys. Nice is very underrated. I remember last year while we were driving back from a family day at the park, James noticed out of the corner of his eye, a man trying to move an enormous ice machine into a moving truck. The guy was struggling. James immediately pulled over, told me he would be right back. Rose and I waited anxiously in the car, watching him help this stranger move this very large piece of equipment.

You know you're ready for marriage when ... 

J: You're never ready, just get married.

K: You can say to yourself, I could marry anyone. Marriage isn't about who you marry, it's a covenant and commitment, so if you think to yourself, yeah I can do that with anyone that also believes that, then you're ready.

Which fictional character best describes your spouse? 

J: She wishes she's Kathleen Kelly from You've Got Mail, but she's really Patricia Eden.

K: A combination of Bing Bong from Inside Out and Pa from Little House on the Prairie (I know, I know, not fictional).

What do you hope for in the next 5 years? 

J: I want to go to Disney World... not necessarily with Kae, I just really want to go to Disney World.

(HAHA. When I came up with this question...I laughed and turned to James and said, you're going to say Disney, aren't you?)

K: That we are better communicators.

It took me 5 years to learn...  

J: Kae's usually right.

K: We are on the same team! Gah, that took me so long to get.

Marriage advice... 

J: Don't forget you're marrying a sinner. If you let them, your spouse will be a false idol. Don't put your faith in them, put your faith in Jesus. That way when they do fall (and they will fall), you're there to help pick them up, and not destroyed by their imperfections.

K: When you find yourself wanting to be loved a certain way from your spouse, ask yourself if you're loving God this way. Example: I wish my spouse would listen to me more, I wish he would spend more time with me. Hmm... Have I been listening to God? Have I been spending time with God? It's a humbling exercise and puts things back in perspective quickly. Also have more sex. (1 Corinthians 7:5)

What is your most favorite gift from each other? 
J: The Scooby Doo scavenger hunt she put together that led to my birthday presents. I felt like Sherlock Holmes. I like all the little drawings Kae gives me. 

K: My wooden fish!!! James and I browsed through the blog to try to find this story, I was so sure I recorded it, but it must be lost in the archives, so I'll retell it. The first year we were married, I worked at a family friend's craft stand at an Austin fair. On my drive back to San Marcos I called James, I mentioned in passing that most things there weren't my style, but there was a wooden rattle fish that I thought was amazing. You can probably piece together the rest of the story. James went back when I was working at the outlets and walked every single booth looking for a "wooden fish." Of course, it was the very last stand in this ginormous craft fair and really he had no idea what he was looking for. I forgot about the whole thing cause it was truly in passing conversation. I never in a million years would have guessed he would actually go hunt it down. I gasped when a couple months later opened it up for Christmas.

Other notables: farmhouse delivery, locket.

If you could plan your 20th wedding anniversary for your spouse, what would it be? 

J: Spend two weeks in a blue zone. Or Prince Edward Island (Anne of Green Gables). If Stars Hollow was a real place I would take her there, but I have to constantly remind her, it's not real.

K: Disney World, ha.

What will you probably actually do on your 20th wedding anniversary?
J: We will watch Netflix and (have to) answer 20 questions for our 20th wedding anniversary.

K: Probably I'll try to squeeze into my wedding dress and we would do a vow renewal ceremony.

What couldn't you predict about marriage or what surprised you about marriage?  

How much my love for you would change. I always viewed it as something that is growing. But it's actually something completetly different. Kind of cliche, but it's transformation. It's not a caterpillar getting fatter, it's a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly. But really, it's like a caterpillar turning into a cat turning into a rhino turning into a bagel turning into a butterfly. There's no visible next step.

K: A bagel? Okay...  for me, how hurt I could feel by you. I couldn't imagine that caliber of emotion. It was really shocking. Also, that I would one day be okay with you picking my nose (that's too much information isn't it?)

Thanks for reading!
*our actual anniversary is on the 6th, but blogging takes time in-between keeping small children alive :)



We are in the middle part of a Fixer Upper episode when Chip and Jojo fight over who has to call the client to give them bad news.

The carpet pad didn't come in, so installation has to be moved. 

The plumber can't be located so we don't know when he'll be able to install your sink. We'll call you Monday.  

The countertop installers overbooked, so you're booted off till next week. 

In other words, the renovation is on hold. Does time breed familiarity? Yesterday when we were bombarded with all these calls, I was clearly disappointed, but after a week of living without my kitchen and making salad like a boss (using guest bathroom to wash veggies, and a TV tray to cut my veggies) it was like, "Hmm, okay, what's one more week?" 

And we've been living on concrete in our bedroom since Easter, so definitely used to that now.

I'm trusting God in the timing of everything. It would be bold of me to say I know better, wouldn't it? Because my timing is now, now, now, and very self-centered. I DON'T know better. So let those countertops, sink, carpet, come when they come. Instead, I am getting good at pretending we are camping (inside) and resting in the fact that He knows and that has been so sweet. Figuratively and literally. James the other day went to buy groceries and somehow managed to sneak out a to-go cup and the cobbler that I had been longingly staring at in our fridge. He  microwaved it at our neighbors and made me some decaf tea over there. It was really sweet. It made me thankful for this crazy renovation because otherwise this moment wouldn't have happened.

I'm seeing opportunities in this mess called life for moments of light... and sweetness.


Summer Happenings

Gah, this may be my new favorite photo of Rose. 

Auntie "Bekah" is back in town!! 
Rebekah is the little sister of James's best friends (Weber boys) so she is very dear to us. 
I am excited to have a babysitter for the summer. I don't remember the last time James and I went out on a date. Hmm, does shopping at Home Depot for a dishwasher count? Rebekah stole Rose away to swim for a couple hours yesterday. I enjoyed much needed one-on-one time with B and caught up on chores. Next time though I am going to nap. 

The farmers market is back and we are enjoying homemade cobblers and fresh veggies.